Before your next meeting, write down these three things:

1. Purpose ← the topic or problem that brings a group together.
2. Rational aim ← the action, decision, or outcome the group must arrive at.
3. Experiential aim ← how the group will feel changed by the experience. Express this as a feeling: something like resolved or open or refreshed.

Many meetings begin with only one of these known. The best have all three.

Here’s how to use them:

• At the beginning of a meeting, share the meeting’s purpose and the rational aim. For example: “We are here today to X. We’ll get there by creating Y and Z together.”
• Keep the experiential aim to yourself, but keep it in mind.
• At the end, close with a question that reinforces the experiential aim.

Consensus Workshop

The Institute of Cultural Affairs’ Consensus Workshop is a more elaborate facilitation method. Consensus workshop uses the rational aim and experiential aim to build a fence around group work, and then offers structured planning tools to make sure those aims are met.

For today: keep it simple

Even for short, informal meetings, take a few moments to get clear on the meeting’s purpose and identify both a rational aim and an experiential aim.

• Knowing the purpose will help the group begin.
• Knowing the rational aim will help everyone walk the same path.
• And knowing the experiential aim will help you produce the experience of change or transition that is needed.

“What did you notice?”

Asking this question is an incredible way to close out a meeting or gathering.

Here’s how it’s done

1. Pose the question: “What did you notice?”
2. Invite everyone to share an answer, or pass.
3. Indicate that you'll answer first and point out who’s next.
4. Give your answer. (I tend to say something like, “I noticed how everyone contributed in their own way and appreciated learning from each of you.”)
5. Go around the room. Listen. Offer the kindest attention and warmest eye contact you can muster. If someone needs help, ask, “What did you notice?” or the more advanced form, “What’s one thing you noticed?”
6. When everyone has had a chance to speak, you’re done.
7. Close with your thanks.

So, what do people say?

Sometimes people share simple things: appreciations and gratitude. For one another. For time together. For kindness or collaboration that has occurred. People might say they noticed conflict, especially if they can point to a moment where it was identified or resolved.

Then a transition happens. This is the magic trick.

It happens in a group of 5 or a group of 50. I don’t know why, but it does. I’ve done this a hundred times in dozens of different groups and each time I worry it won’t happen. It always does. The transition is:

About halfway through, responses shift away from sensory observations and towards the retrospective. Reflection, decision, statements of purpose.

The question hasn’t changed—“What did you notice?”—but the room has.

Maybe some perspective-taking happens. Or someone reinforces shared purpose, especially where there has been disagreement.

By the end, the answers to “What did you notice?” tend toward summary and action. What's next. What's the opportunity. Noticing consensus or its lack.

The group has started with “what” and moved on to “so what” and then “now what.” All with a single question and the lightest structure.

If you want a little more

There are facilitation methods for doing this with a little more scaffolding.

For example, the Institute of Cultural Affairs’ Focused Conversation method is a facilitated discussion that leads a group through stages from Objective to Reflective to Interpretive to Decisional (ORID). Focused Conversations are lovely too, and I use them often.

A simpler version is the “What/So What/Now What” Liberating Structure.

Simpler still is the “what did you notice?” question.

Try it sometime. It’s so simple, it’s magic.

"Whoever comes is the right people."

I love the slight awkwardness of this sentence as it describes what happens when people (plural) become a people (singular). A people as a process, not as a shuffling, muttering crowd of individuals.

I can think of only two contexts where I’ve experienced this “peopleing”—

1. Open space technology. This is a lightly facilitated, carefully organized format for a gathering. Open space is convened on a challenge so puzzling that people are compelled to show up to work and listen. It is the most direct, accessible format for group self-organization I’ve ever encountered: both a chapel and a chainsaw.
2. The Buddhist sangha, in its various permutations. I keep a mailing list of 75 of us who sat weekly for some years in a frigid room before COVID sent everybody home. Over time, I learned some incidental details (occupation, class, family composition, neighborhood, etc.) about maybe 1 out of 8 of those people. But in terms of the topic at hand—styles of meditation, preferred traditions, favorite teachers, etc.—I still recall where each person was and where they were headed, even though we haven’t met since early 2020. Similarly, I sat on a week-length retreat with 50 people and felt like I came to know them so deeply, and shared something so precious, even though what we shared together was silence. These groups—this sangha—is vital, even though it is transient or ‘incomplete’ in a conventional sense.

We’d all benefit from more spaces where two people, or two hundred, could gather and say—“I don’t know anything about you, and you don’t know anything about me, but we have what we need to get this sorted.”

It is an antidote to the social atomization inhibiting our lives under capital.

And until we get there, it’s a hell of a way to organize a meeting.

Open space technology series:

• “Whoever comes is the right people.” → now reading
• “Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.”
• “Whenever it starts is the right time.”
• “When it is over, it is over.” (forthcoming)

Doesn’t it feel great to take credit for a job well done? Consulting is a job where that never happens. An effective consultant:

• helps a client identify problems in their business,
• helps a client remove or route around those problems, and
• (the important part) helps a client take credit for any/all success.

3 ways to produce conditions for success

1. Use this perspective to inspire bravery, saying to a client: “Let’s try this together. If it works, you get the credit. If it doesn’t work, I’ll take the blame.”
2. Or you might keep this to yourself, and be the one unworried person in the room. A common cause of project failure is that everyone is fixated on whether or not it will succeed.
3. Often in a consulting arrangement, I have budget to try several approaches with a client—and those will fail. Great! If I’ve done my job, the client will have the next couple approaches lined up, along with the skills to give them a try without me around. They’ll succeed after the I’m gone.

Remaining unmoved

This is not new a new perspective. It’s not specific to consulting.

Instead, it comes from being the kind of person who is attentive to the situation and the people in it, rather than being the kind of person who’s worried about the past (with stories of how things got broken in the first place) or the future (and terrors or failures it may entail). By being—and here’s the cliche, but this is what cliches are for—being in the moment.

I give you Upaya Zen Center’s samu gatha. It is a brief chant shared before starting work practice. You’ll find me reciting it before joining your meeting, and, when I have the presence of mind, before washing the dishes:

May this work be done in a spirit of generosity,
Not driven by ego, greed, or delusion.
May kindness sustain us and prevail in conflict.
And compassion guide us and lead us to understanding.
May we rejoice in the successes of others.
And remain unmoved by praise or blame.

TL;DR:

• Always take the blame, share the credit.
• This spares you from worry about outcomes or future activities…
• …Which helps you pay attention to what's happening today.
• “Remain unmoved by praise or blame.”